This is where I feel at home

So here we are, mostly because I was getting tired of that picture post. It was stupid and mostly done out of laziness.

I've been employed and will be starting work on Monday. Which is a good thing. Money is always good. So my issues with being a bum are over. I still am terribly lonely. Having but one friend where I live is horrible. And realizing I'm not going back to E.C. was a painful realization. It's scary frankly. Not getting ready, not being excited to see the people I consider family. Knowing it's going to be a long time before I get to hug any of them. Or have demented conversations with them.

I've never actually felt this lonely before. I'm so good at socializing and making friends usually. But something about having not been here for about four years, makes me feel like the new kid a school again. I'm awkward and just silent.

It'll be worse on Monday. But what can I do?

So
job (check)
friends (a single check) [[and I love her for still being my friend]]
Happiness

I'll get there. Hopefully. I mean, there is always surprisingly hope.


“If you know someone who’s depressed please resolve never to ask them why. Depression isn’t a straightforward response to a bad situation, depression just is, like the weather. Try to understand the blackness, lethargy, hopelessness and loneliness they’re going through. Be there for them when they come through the other side. It’s hard to be a friend to someone who’s depressed, but it is one of the kindest, noblest and best things you will ever do.”
— Stephen Fry

To all my friends.

Flawed.

And here we are...again

So I've applied at my dream job, won't say where. But I'm very excited. I wouldn't have done so at all, if it weren't for my friend...probably one of the few I call Best Friend. She basically talked me into it over an Instant Message conversation. She really does help me, which is awesome and fun.

But...

Beyond that, I'm still jobless and bored out of my head. This whole being stuck in my house for a long time is getting to me, coupled with my lack of money means I really can't do anything besides chill at the duck pond and feed birds corn. Which, contrary to popular belief gets boring really quick, or dangerous depending on if you are feeding the Swan lettuce. 

So now I've taken to watching things on Netflix, and writing/chatting. I have five days until my parents leave me and go to Colorado for three weeks, which I am insanely jealous about by the way. So I'll be home alone, no transport because as of right now, I lack a license and the car will be gone anyways. So I have a feeling I will be gaming and watching movies. Which though not boring, is more boring when you do it alone, and I won't bother my only friend too much during this time. She has her own life or table top gaming. (which I don't do) 

So I'm waiting for call backs, which I don't know if that will happen. I have to send out my portfolio to California. Then it'll be golden. Still freaking out, it'll be okay, I just have to breathe. O.O