So I've been gone for a while...

Hello Friend,

I know I have been gone for a while. And truthfully I just gave up on this whole blog thing because it was so much work, and I was so depressed. Not wanting to bring you down with all my melancholy feelings. But maybe it's time to start up again.

I find that I need something to fill my time, and although I now have a Youtube channel, and a Tumblr. I find that posting personal things on those are just, useless. So here I am. Again. I am going to try and post once a week.

So update. When previously I was living in Syracuse, I now live in San Francisco. Well at least for the next three years while I get my masters. I'm already sweating bullets over my thesis. Which is silly. But I am. I'm at the Academy of Art University, and actually...genuinely happy for the first time in a long time. I'm doing what I love, and in fact terrified of what is going to happen.

I'm poor. And scared about money. Stacking up more debt. Can't find a job. Which is terrifying. But I'm making art again. Which is amazing and just a bit better than I was before.

I had been in a downward spiral following an extremely abusive relationship, where I literally though death was better than anything. Now here I am. Feeling better than I ever had. I'm happy. Here.

Here being on the planet. I'm still lonely, and very homesick. Which is normal but not too bad. I have a single very amazing friend. Bai, who is five years older than me but just a hoot. I'm glad to have met her. She's in the same major as I, Visual Development. I want to work in the film industry. Ain't that odd. But I never know what I'm going to be doing a month from now, let alone a year from now. But for now I'm happy.

Still I sometimes wake up sad, and hating everything around me. But Maybe I'll start branching out a bit more. To become more acquainted with this neighborhood. With this city. But I haven't found much to do for free, with me being poor and all.

I'll convince Bai to start helping me, even if it's just walking about. Or us just watching Sailor Moon.

Here is to a new start.

A girl named Adriane is growing up...and into herself.

I'm a fangirl

My life, more recently has revolved around my issues and well fictional characters. Their triumphs and defeats make my life seem so ordinary and I suppose it is, but I am a fangirl. Not in the sense where I tack 'desu' at the end of every word, or that I ship so hard my brain explodes. But it has happened before.

My discovery of I guess the extreme fan base sort of started like this, and has kept me swimming in it.

I won't lie and say I dove right into great fandomship. I did write a few Mary-Sue fanfictions but I'm sure everyone has, and read a good amount of shit on fanfiction.net. But soon (with the help of key friends, you know who you are) I was diving head first into straight fanfiction that began my shipping battles, which ended as quickly as they came because really fighting over fictional characters is boring to me.  

Though most of my childhood, and adolescence was spent in this type of state.

I ended up a different person, though I still carry the baggage today. I dropped many of my hetero-ships though I still claim a few, like Neville/Luna, I moved to slash and now write it. I have a good following on one site where I write crossovers and have way too much fun with Xander from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. 

Beyond all of that being a fangirl is more than writing fanfics or drawing fan art. It's about being excited over things that some people would scoff at. Such as hearing Snape whisper "Trust me" before the doe appears in Deathly Hallows pt 1. 

And even better beyond that, it has helped me develop into someone I love being, beyond my image issues. It made me smart, literate and creative. Being involved with these fandoms have given me a base in which to express myself which, in turn has spread far beyond the fandoms and into my own life. 

My childhood was built around these fandoms, and allowed me to change myself in better ways. Anita Blake tought me to be strong (before the series turned into an HBO special), Harry Potter taught me to choose between what is right and what is easy, Frodo Baggins taught me to be strong in the face of the darkest things, Aang taught me to have fun, The Doctor told me I was extraordinary and Xander, dear dear Xander taught me to love without reining myself in. 

I know being called a fangirl has some other things attached to it. Weird obsessed girls who talk about only that and will shove it into any conversation, and I have met one of those, but I feel like it is a large stereotype that can't be broken until we, ourselves break it. 

So fuck it.

I'm a fangirl, I giggle as stupid things, I poke and squee over Zuko statues. I crank the volume to hear Snape. I love Loki's anguish. 

But I'm a student (a senior) in college, I'm an aunt. And the sad thing is.

All my friends and family are fangirls/boys too.

Day MADE

As of today I am accepted into SMFA Boston. Me, who thought I was going to sit by and cry for ever and work at McDonalds. I plan on going, I plan on getting my masters and becoming a prof. much like the one who made me realize that art is my one true love.

Now...I was going to tell you a bit bout this guy, but here learn for yourself

http://www.marcdennis.com/ .

If I know anything, I know this. Only from studying under him did I make it here. He pushed me, and shoved me in directions I wouldn't have gone without him. And I thank him for that.

But for now, I'm going to rejoyce and party it up.

Because bitches. I know where I'm going and I know where I've been.

>3>

So term two is coming to a close and well...I'm glad for it. However, I am not ready to see my seniors go. Because well...I never want my seniors to go. I was the same way last year. But I didn't have as many friends in the Tens as I do the Elevens. But my big sister was in the Tens. <3 But so sad about that.

I cant wait for my classes term three. Because I'm taking two directed studies. One in Japanese Pottery and another in Printmaking. I'm really syched. It is going to be BAMF. XD

But other than that I have thing piling up fast. Have to write a paper for art history, and study for Latin. AND get all my illustration things done. It gets a little crazy at the end of the term. But having dealt with it for two point five years, I'm pretty used to it.

I'm happy to be an art major, but now I'm freaking out about my RETARDED timing. WHY OH WHY did I change so late. But I have a feeling that I'll get it done and good. But still freaking out a bit. :D

Illustration and other art things

So even though Illustration totally kills my social time, I fell like I'm producing great art! I mean having to think things through and do things like that is making my brain explode. But mixed with ceramics I have a packed schedule...and craziness in my life.



This picture, i made up for this coming class on Tuesday. It took about Two hours and six sketches and a ton of frustration. But I like the end result.




This Ironman picture took about three hours of break down, and blocking before it was finished. This was less frustrating as I didn't need any actual words to be in it.

Other than these I've been doing small graphite drawings and whipping them out. They look so good, at least to me. But otherwise I feel pretty good, even though I sleep almost nothing. I WANT SLEEP. I was like naps. :D

To go on another rant. I am writing a Creative Story. It is a fantasy story that is sort of post-apocalyptic. It is turning out great and has some connections to Beowulf.



Though not Beowulf in reality, more descendants and wars. I'm trying to make it outstanding and it's hard. I have seven pages and I'm still attempting to hammer out the bumpy pieces. Though it's sort of coming together.

My life in general had been an up and down thing or craziness that just won't stop, but I'm trying to get away form people who are negative around me....but they keep on popping up.