I'm still alive!

Hello! It's been over a year since I posted, and I feel like I should try and post more often.

I'm trying to advance my art and graduate still. I'm doing much better, not in a relationship, and sorta fine with it. Life has moved on, and I've gotten better.

Now, about this blog, Imma try and update it more. Making art is my life now, so I should be adding art to this blog. Along with my life, and my art and stuff.

As of now, I will leave you with this. That I'm alive, and semi-happy. Making my thesis book.

Enjoy my shitty I'm bored comic. (Before you ever see my real art.)

All you need is...

Listen to this; this morning I shuffled around my apartment like a wounded animal. I was hungry, but not hungry. I was sleepy but not. I did my class work and sat silently on the floor for a few hours, cooling mug of mint tea in one hand. I was so lonely, am so lonely. I've stayed in my room watching people love their lives. Even now, I cannot seem to find it in me to be happy.

The weird thing is I'm doing all I ever dreamed of. If you told me if be living in San Fran. a year ago I would have laughed in your face. I should be happy! I should be exploring things. But here I am watching You've Got Mail and Finding Mr.Destiny wishing that was me. 

But it's not. I know I'm not the most out going or even social creature.

 (｡-_-｡) 

Really I'm just a stick in the mud. I can't interact with anyone very well any longer. I fear that part of me may be broken forever. 

The one thing I want more than anything is love. I want to love and be loved in return. In a romantic sense. But every relationship I've had was me giving, and them taking. At the time it felt like love, but looking back I can see it wasn't. 

Being social is hard for me and I don't understand how people can put themselves out there. 

So much of what I read reminds me of other peoples lives. When really shouldn't it be mine I think of? But it's not. I'm a socially awkward otaku. Though that term is used to mean many things. To me it means outsider. I'm outside everyone. Really it feels like I'm in a bubble. Watching as everyone goes through amazing things while I sit back and go "Wow I want to do that!"  But never having the guts to do it.

I'm lonely. And scared. I'm not sure. 

Day 13

Well finals are over and now I am home. I've been catching up on some Z's and now feel ready to get back to having fun.

Though I believe that being home sucks, A) because I do not have a bed B)Because of my mother and C) there is absolutely nothing to do. But I'm doing pretty well, having watch the Princess and the Frog three times, the dark knight and the Doctor Who marathon and new season first ep.

Which now I have the urge to try fish sticks and custard. :) Which though seems gross I have a feeling would be completely delicious at the same time. But I am strange like that.

You know this updating one every week or so seems better I have much more to talk about.

I'm going to soon check my grades and hopefully have at least a 3.0 GPA. I need it! But you know, I don't know I did try quite hard this term. But now on to third term and archeology. Which is going to be full of dirt and sunburns. Well not bad sunburns I hope, my skin couldn't take it.

I cannot wait until free comic book day, I am dressing up as Delirium from the Sandman comics, and two of my other friends are going to be Death and Dream. Totally golden man!

Day 12

Today was fairly relaxing, which it shouldn't be since I have to have two papers done by Friday. I really need to crack down but my brain is just in lazy bones mode. Oh well.

I went swimming today again, I forgot how enjoyable it was to swim in an indoor pool. It was fun and I truly loved it. I feel at home in the water, is that weird? Well it can't really be, I'm sure many people feel like that. I have no idea why I update this so much, I mean is there anyone who actually reads this, because i have no real way of telling.

Anyways, I saw Alice in Wonderland today and was quite bothered that it was called Alice in Wonder land, though it was more like Through the Looking Glass. It really bothering me now. But the acting was nice. The Hatter, who has always been my favorite character, was done nicely by Depp. I actually really loved the random thick Scottish Accent that jumped into his voice once in a while. Quite good!


Well it's off to bed with me now, and to wake up for Schwartz in the morning. :)